Giving birth is the ultimate metaphor for creating, giving life, and sacrificing. The physical act of giving birth, in reality, is incomparable to anything. Throughout my pregnancy, my baby was my spiritual guide and teacher.
Pregnancy is nine months of physical, emotional, and relationship growth. Pregnancy taught me to set and hold my boundaries. Pregnancy clarified what I want and don’t want in life. Pregnancy gave me hope in the most hopeless time.
Now that Caio Luna-Valdez Forte has arrived, he is continuing to act as my teacher. I am learning to take in the world as Caio sees it with fresh eyes, not jaded by societal pressures, expectations, and past traumas. Moment by moment, he is present (when he is not sleeping!). When he stares at a tree with intensity, I pause and stare at the tree and try to see it with as much wonder as he does. I’m calling him Baby Buddha.
I’m seeing my entire life and work through the lens of his life. In terms of my productivity work, I see first hand how habits are formed with cues, triggers, and rewards and being mindful of the healthy or unhealthy habits I might create. My husband jokes that the baby is the ultimate Pomodoro timer.
From my public health perspective, I see the stark difference between the unhealthy environment I grew up in, living near oil refineries with terrible asthma, and the privilege of cultivating a healthy environment for my son. It pushes me to continue my health justice work, ensuring all children have this same privilege.
On a personal level, I can understand how much my parents love me and am reminded of beautiful childhood memories. I’m able to heal intergenerational traumas that won’t be passed down to the next generation. After 15 years of living a flight away from my family, I am grateful to live near my immediate family, in-laws, grandparents, and many aunts, uncles, and cousins. The community of support I have is making this transition manageable.
I can’t wait for the lessons my baby will bring me.
Lauren
Caio, is so lucky to have you as a mommy. I love this piece.